let me start by saying, in case i haven’t before … my husband’s job is pretty demanding. he works long hours that keep us apart for most of the week. i work a 9-5 and he works 6 12′s that often turn into 14′s. on a normal week, we see each other for a few hours on saturday morning and on sundays. occasionally he’ll wake me up around 4 am when he gets home. it’s been this way for a while. practically the whole time we’ve been married. i try not to complain and we savor the occasional off day.
recently the ‘bosses’ put out a schedule, offering each location one saturday off a month, on rotation. this saturday was a scheduled off day. i made plans. i got excited.
last night, his boss decided to transfer him to a different location, meaning he’s missed his rotational saturday off until next month. when he called me to tell me, i totally lost it. i ranted and pouted and whined and even told him to call in. i DESERVED that time off with him. of course, my temper tantrum did neither of us any good and we got off the phone feeling pretty lousy.
when i calmed down, i began to think… who am i to complain?
we are very fortunate to have this job. we’ve been blessed beyond measure that when he found out he was diabetic it didn’t effect his job (it’s a very physical job). where we are now is VERY different from where we were this time 2 years ago.
then i thought of the military spouses who only see their husbands/wives every 3 months, 6 months, or longer. i thought of those who have lost a spouse, only to see them again in heaven. i can’t even begin to imagine that pain. i’m humbled by the strength of these men and women…
but still i was feeling a little lost.
i decided to pray about it. i thanked God for bringing him this job, even though it keeps us apart. i thanked God for bringing him to me, my perfect match. for making our relationship strong enough to endure the time apart. i prayed for those special military wives and for those who have lost their spouses.
then i began to pray for peace and grace. peace from the loneliness i feel when we’re apart and the anxiety i feel when he’s on the road. grace to help me remember that despite the discomfort, we are still blessed. grace to not lose my temper when things don’t go my way.
in the end, i began to feel better. and i have a renewed determination to make every second i spend with my husband as amazing as possible. also, a determination to not feel so sorry for myself. to keep myself busy doing the things that i know i won’t do when he’s home. and then i went to sleep with a lighter heart and the knowledge that there’s nothing a little prayer won’t remedy.
- do you sometimes forgot how fortunate you are?
- what do you do when you give in to selfish thoughts?
- also, i’m in the market for a new project to keep me busy. any suggestions?